I'm a 42yo online communications & IT consultant, and ex recording artist, from Melbourne, Australia.

After much searching, I finally met the right man. Then I got pregnant at 41 - baby boy was due 20 April 2010.

It was to be quite a journey. We discovered via ultrasound that our baby had some health problems, namely a hole in the heart, hypospadias and IUG growth issues.

Then I became very ill with pre-eclampsia, and was admitted to hospital at 34 weeks gestation.

Our baby Charles was delivered prematurely on 16th March 2010 weighing a tiny 1460g (3.5 pounds). He spent a month in hospital before coming home.

Baby comes home...

On 11th April, little Charles came home.

He was very small. Even though he'd grown so much while in hospital, he was still only 2kg when he left (4.4 pounds).

The nurses recommended we didn't take him out of the house for at least a month, until he'd reached a size more consistent with the average newborn. His immunity would be low, and his ability to keep warm lessened by his low body weight (it was almost winter and getting colder). So we were to stay indoors and keep visitors to a minimum.

That was just fine by me. I just wanted to get to know my baby and also to rebuild myself after all the drama. Quiet time at home with my baby was what I wanted more than anything.

We carried him carefully to the car, put him in his car seat and then, with me sitting next to him in the back, drove home. He barely moved.

At home, we put him on our bed, in his sleeper, and just stared at him for hours. I took the above photograph.

And that first night, I barely slept a wink, and constantly watched over him. His cradle was next to my side of the bed - I couldn't even think of putting him in the nursery.

We were lucky, in that he'd come home from hospital on a schedule. I just needed to follow it. He fed every 3.5 hours, pretty much by the clock. This made it easier for me, in that I could plan my day.

He slept and slept. He also threw up his milk, and did the usual things baby do. I floated about the house for some weeks, enjoying caring for him, delighting in my baby. He slept, and slept some more.

We experienced no issues with his heart - something I'd feared, and which made me watch him closely. We were to go back to the cardiologist when he was three months old.

He was due to start seeing the hypospadias surgeon soon too, and I knew there would be surgery to plan and deal with.

But for now, we just wanted to get to know him.

I was terribly emotional for some time - hormones all over the place. When he cried, I cried too. I hated to think of him being in pain, or upset in any way.

But apart from that, I loved caring for him. I loved doing all the little things, like organising his clothes, doing his washing.

I really felt like a mother at last.


jo said...

hi! I follow you on twitter and i saw yr post for wall stickers - we wons some on the www.thehipinfant.com but they are too young for my 3yr old. Sine you little boy is so precious I was wondering if you want them. my account is private but follow me and then i can DM you and @reply you.


j said...

sorry my twitter is being a bitch :( please try to follow me again

jo said...

Hmm - it appears u are following me but my stoopid twittie is not registering so i still can Dm you- I have @replied you prehaps unfollow me and try again?

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