The 41 Baby Project: hypospadias

I'm a 42yo online communications & IT consultant, and ex recording artist, from Melbourne, Australia.

After much searching, I finally met the right man. Then I got pregnant at 41 - baby boy was due 20 April 2010.

It was to be quite a journey. We discovered via ultrasound that our baby had some health problems, namely a hole in the heart, hypospadias and IUG growth issues.

Then I became very ill with pre-eclampsia, and was admitted to hospital at 34 weeks gestation.

Our baby Charles was delivered prematurely on 16th March 2010 weighing a tiny 1460g (3.5 pounds). He spent a month in hospital before coming home.

Showing posts with label hypospadias. Show all posts

Today, a tooth - tomorrow, the world!

Baby Charles is now 6 months old. That's his real age. In terms of his developmental, or corrected, age, he's just under 5 months old. It's complicated trying to calculate and explain that, every time someone asks - such as the nurses at the local health centre, who need to know the specifics in order to work out whether he is meeting his developmental milestones.

Charles was very tiny when he first came home from hospital, after spending a month in the hospital's Special Care nursery, but he has caught up amazingly. He is now only very slightly smaller than the other babies in my local Mothers' Group, who are all of a similar age range. When Mothers' Group started he was WAY smaller.

He is a little behind in physical terms, which is to be expected given his small size, due (as I mentioned in earlier posts) to him being growth restricted for unknown reasons while in my womb (this is known as IUGR). He doesn't do tummy time quite as well as the other babies, although he is progressing. He's not rolling over yet - unless you count putting his legs in the air and kind of falling to the side. I don't see him crawling any time soon.

However, he is a bright little chap and is generally meeting all his milestones. I am so proud of him. He had such a rough start but he has done so well.

His heart condition, which scared me so much when it was discovered, has healed itself. Yes, really - healed itself! Isn't it amazing what the body can do?

He had two tiny holes in his heart when born. One has now grown over and the other become so small that the cardiologist says it no longer matters. He still has a tiny heart murmur, but that too no longer matters, we're told - many people live long lives with similar conditions. Our cardiologist thinks it's likely the final hole and the murmur will have gone by the time Charles turns one.

We were so relieved to hear this that we shed tears of joy in the car home, and then danced madly around the house all evening - Charles in our arms.

And now our baby's first tooth has peeked through his bottom gum. I was so excited! Today, a tooth - tomorrow, the world.

Our next major event - apart from solid food, which we will begin when he reaches 6 months corrected age (7 months real age) - is Charles' first hypospadias operation. This will be in three months time, and will not be easy. A second, more difficult operation will happen around March next year, when he'll be a year old. We have the best surgeon in Melbourne and we are confident. We have to be.

Once all that's over, Charles' rough start should be but a distant memory.

Baby comes home...

On 11th April, little Charles came home.

He was very small. Even though he'd grown so much while in hospital, he was still only 2kg when he left (4.4 pounds).

The nurses recommended we didn't take him out of the house for at least a month, until he'd reached a size more consistent with the average newborn. His immunity would be low, and his ability to keep warm lessened by his low body weight (it was almost winter and getting colder). So we were to stay indoors and keep visitors to a minimum.

That was just fine by me. I just wanted to get to know my baby and also to rebuild myself after all the drama. Quiet time at home with my baby was what I wanted more than anything.

We carried him carefully to the car, put him in his car seat and then, with me sitting next to him in the back, drove home. He barely moved.

At home, we put him on our bed, in his sleeper, and just stared at him for hours. I took the above photograph.

And that first night, I barely slept a wink, and constantly watched over him. His cradle was next to my side of the bed - I couldn't even think of putting him in the nursery.

We were lucky, in that he'd come home from hospital on a schedule. I just needed to follow it. He fed every 3.5 hours, pretty much by the clock. This made it easier for me, in that I could plan my day.

He slept and slept. He also threw up his milk, and did the usual things baby do. I floated about the house for some weeks, enjoying caring for him, delighting in my baby. He slept, and slept some more.

We experienced no issues with his heart - something I'd feared, and which made me watch him closely. We were to go back to the cardiologist when he was three months old.

He was due to start seeing the hypospadias surgeon soon too, and I knew there would be surgery to plan and deal with.

But for now, we just wanted to get to know him.

I was terribly emotional for some time - hormones all over the place. When he cried, I cried too. I hated to think of him being in pain, or upset in any way.

But apart from that, I loved caring for him. I loved doing all the little things, like organising his clothes, doing his washing.

I really felt like a mother at last.

"I believe there's a problem..."

I'm having my usual fortnightly scan (because baby is small - see previous post). I'm at 26 weeks now. I'm here alone - as we thought this scan would be routine, my partner is at work.

Cheerily I ask how much baby boy has grown this past fortnight.

The radiologist is frowning and looking closely at the screen. He focuses in on the heart and looks again.

I lie there and try to keep still. The radiologist enlarges and enlarges, until baby's teeny little heart is maximised across the screen. I see the four chambers of the heart pulsing. From my recollections of school biology classes, it looks like a normal heart. Doesn't it?

The radiologist has switched on the colour part of the ultrasound, which shows blood movement and so on, and I can now see colours moving across the heart.

Finally the radiologist turns to me.

"I believe there is a problem with baby's heart", he says.

OK, keep calm.

"He appears to have a hole in his heart. I'll do you a drawing so I can explain better."

Stay, stay calm. Make sure you take it all in and ask the right questions.

He tells me baby has a medium sized hole between the two lower chambers, and shows me on a drawing, but tells me that he will have to bring in a cardiologist for a specialist opinion.

If confirmed, baby will require heart surgery at some point after his birth.

He also tells me that baby appears to have a condition called Hypospadias, whereby the penis and urethra haven't formed properly and the penis opening is in the wrong position.

This will also require surgery after birth.

I am still trying to be calm, but now I just start sobbing, and have to be taken out to a quiet room to calm down by a clearly upset radiologist, who didn't want to have to tell me this and feels for me.

I'm devastated. My baby, who was so much wanted and so long waited for, is too small, has a heart problem, has a penis problem. What else is coming? My poor little one - what will his first months be like?

And as his mother, what did I do wrong?